Nursing a toddler can certainly take its toll. And if you’ve been waking for a year or more to nurse your child during the night, you may be feeling ready to call it quits. It’s common to be told that the only way you’re going to eliminate those night-feeds is if you wean your child altogether, but what if you/your child aren’t quite ready for that transition? Enter: night-weaning.
Night-weaning is exactly what it sounds like, eliminating nursing during nighttime hours only. While not a guarantee that your child will sleep longer stretches, it does allow you to get a long stretch of time each night where you’re not needed for nursing and it can often lead to more sleep for your child. And if you have a partner who is willing to take over some (or all) of your toddler’s night-waking, it could mean many more hours of restful sleep for you.
How does one go about night-weaning though? A gentle approach is best, and thankfully there’s a highly-recommended, gentle method with step-by-step instructions, already written. Dr. Jay Gordon created this method of night-weaning specifically for co-sleeping families but it’s very easily adapted to however your night-nursing may appear. The most significant piece is determining a 7-hour-span of time each night where you will not nurse your child when he/she awakens. However, you will offer soothing in different ways. Your child will never be left alone to cry and you can offer cuddling, holding, soothing words, etc.
The goal is to eliminate the routine of offering the breast throughout the night during the 7 hours you identify as most significant. I will not lay out a detailed summary of Dr. Gordon’s method since he has written it best and you can review and study the whole plan at the link above. I do want to offer a warning though, with encouragement. This method, while gentle, is not going to be tear-free. After all, what major transition for a toddler is tear-free? A majot reason this method was created for toddlers (1 year or older), and not for younger babies, is because they have already had a strong foundation of trust and security built with you. The trust is there, the reliance on you has been nurtured and your child feels safe. Also, a healthy child of this age is not likely to need night-feeds for necessary nourishment as a young infant requires. The tears you’ll witness are a protest to change, a desire for the same routine. But you staying by your child’s side and offering comforting measures will make for a smoother transition. You will be surprised to find that within a couple of weeks, your child is able to go back to sleep without nursing and you may feel a sense of freedom through the night you haven’t yet experienced.
If nursing through the night is working for you, I encourage you to continue. After all, if it isn’t broken, there’s nothing to fix. However, if you’re struggling with frequent night-nursings and you’re starting to resent the constant need to be physically available to your baby but you and your baby aren’t ready to wean fully; night-weaning could be just the thing to maintain both your sanity and your breastfeeding relationship.
